Blatant Silliness

Forgive me my teacher…

Posted on July 30, 2013. Filed under: Blatant Silliness, Yoga |

Ever get the nagging feeling something is missing in your yoga practice and interactions with teachers?

A yoga class.

A yoga class. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes there’s an attitude of relativity and acceptance that simply doesn’t always fulfill me.

I can always take down dog or child’s pose as I need to?  Or uses props and adjust as I want in the asanas?  It’s my practice and don’t need to compare it to others?

Really that just doesn’t leave room for good old fashion guilt! 😉

I almost feel like I want a yoga Priest/Priestess where I might confess my yoga sins.  Perhaps something along these lines:

Student:  “Forgive me my teacher.  It’s been a week since my last practice.  And almost two since my last class…”

Teacher: “Go on.”

Student: “I go to using a prop out of habit without awareness and so avoid really exploring the asana I’m working on.

Instead of listening and learning from my body’s action in a pose, I subtly twist and look at the clock to see how long I’ve held it so far and how long until the class ends.

Often in savasaana, I think about when, and what,  I’m going to eat afterwards and whether I worked hard enough to get a treat too….”*

Teacher:  “I see.  Take 3 extra Sun Salutations each practice and work on three new asanas you’ve never tried before in the coming week.  And work toward changing all that.  Now go and practice in peace.”

Whew.  Feeling better already!

I wonder if I’ve earned that chocolate bar I’ve been eying while writing this…

*  For the record – yes I do all of those things.  I’m probably the worst clock watcher ever.  Even when there is not a clock to watch I follow the time in my head and think about it. 😉

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Blantant Silliness: The Herbalist Strikes!

Posted on July 24, 2012. Filed under: Blatant Silliness |

Given it is Summer and I’m on vacation – I think it is long past time for an extremely silly vaguely herbal related post.  Warning – nothing serious or terrible informative to be found here today – enjoy!

This post was inspired by my new haircut – which I love but I recognize is one bad hair day or hair product misadventure from having me look like a 1960s comic book villain…so in the style of the 1960s TV live action Batman:

 

We join the Caped Crusader as he arrives at Commissioner Gordon’s office after being summoned by the Bat Signal.

Commissioner Gordon: “Thank goodness you’re here Batman!  And you too as well Boy Wonder!  Everyone in the police station was asleep when I got here.  Do you know what is going on?”

Batman:  “Well, Commissioner, if you notice you’ll detect a vague floral scent in the air fading fast which is Hops flower (Humulus lupulus) and no doubt the cause of your somnambulatory staff.  Someone has put a concentrated brew of Hops flower into the ventilation system and its remarkable sedative property is responsible.  Here Robin take the Bat-Wake-Up Gas and spray it around.    There’s no doubt that there is only one villain who would use peaceful herbs for such evil.  It must be the work of the Herbalist!  But what can he be up to?”

What indeed Caped Crusader.  Meantime, over at the Herbalist’s secret hideout in an abandoned botanical garden, the nefarious nasty chortles over his latest scheme with his henchmen Osha  (Ligusticum porteri)  and Lobelia (Lobelia spp.)

Herbalist:  “Those blundering buffoons will never figure out my scheme.   I now have the complete security plans to the Women’s Herbal Conference and their exhibit of a new cultivar of False Unicorn Root (Chamaelirium luteum) which is easy to raise in a variety of environments while still having the same medicinal properties.   And soon it will be mine.”

Osha:  “But why boss?  Whatja want to do that for?”

Herbalist: “Because you simpering simpleton.   As long as it is rare I can charge whatever I want for the ones I steal from the wild!  If anyone can grow it, it would be a cheap and plentiful reproductive tonic for all women.  And we can’t have that!”

Lobelia: “Gee, that’s not very nice using plants that way.”

Herbalist: “Well, I am an evil Herbalist!”

Later at the Women’s Herbal Conference, the Herbalist begins his horrible heist only to be greeted by the Dynamic Duo!  And after a quick fight the villain is subdued.

Robin:  “If only he’d learn that plants are best used for the good of all and not for evil!”

Batman:  “Well said old chum.”

Afterward, the women from the conference come to offer their thanks to Batman and he tries to ward them off.

But alas none of the women herbalists were actually villains and he had to run away.

As to why Batman runs so from women is a question best left for another day.

Join us next week.  Same Bat-Time.  Same Bat-Channel.

(Okay, I lied I did insert some useful information including Latin names and some medicinal properties!  And next time a more serious post….)

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Blatant Silliness: If I Could Talk to the Plants…

Posted on March 19, 2012. Filed under: Blatant Silliness |

 

Officially Spring starts tomorrow, but Spring is in in the air – it is so warm and beautiful here in Boston.  Most definitely, not a week for serious, or even semi-serious, blogging!

Plus I spent the weekend in Reiki training and had no time for putting together formal posts, but during one of the post initiation meditations I had this pop into my head and I choose to share it for the fun, herby spring like essence it embodies…

Doctor Dolittle

Doctor Dolittle (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

If I Could Talk to the Plants
(based on If I Could Talk to the Animals from Doctor Dolittle –  apologies to the lyricists…)

If we could talk to the plants, just imagine it
Chatting to a Hawthorn in Hawthornese
Imagine talking to a Cleaver, chatting to a Mugwort
What a neat achievement that would be.

If we could talk to the plants, learn their languages
Maybe take a plant degree.
We’d study Fenugreek and Basil, Butterbur and Nettle,
Schisandra, Shatavari, and Tulsi.

We would converse in Iceland Moss and Saffron,
And we could curse in fluent Feverfew*.
If people asked us, can you speak in Astragalus,
We’d say, “Of courserous, can’t you?”

If we could talk to the plants, learn their languages
Think of all the things we could discuss
If we could walk with the plants, talk with the plants,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the plants,
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us.

Yes, I took a little license here and there but I think I did a pretty spanking job, especially considering it is extremely close to how it appeared whole in my head over the weekend!  Or is that a too disturbing insight to how “special” my mind is? 🙂

* I’m betting Feverfew swears like a drunken sailor!

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